Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Finding Solace in the Gutter.

Here is a very arresting photograph by a fellow blogger. You might go and check out their work. I had to write something that seemed, to me at least, to fit the mood of the picture. Like someone who had to make a very tough decision with no clear “good” outcome, no matter what the choice was.


There. It’s done. I did it.

I don’t regret it, either.

Not one damn bit.






Posted: March 15, 2013 in Uncategorized

So, I was thinking the other day on my way to work, and I thought, “I know! I’ll make up a language!” Like you find yourself thinking from time to time.

This is a language that only uses one vowel sound; namely, “o” as in “boat” and “cope”. Just, you know, to be difficult. First, we start with numbers and letters, just like Sesame Street.

0 = ro

1 = o

2 = to

3 = ho

4 = fo

5 = yo

6 = so

7 = vo

8 = ko

9 = no

10 = oro

From this, we can construct numbers 11- 19 by using oro as a root and adding one of the other numbers like o, to, ho and so forth.

11 = oro o

12 = oro to

13 = oro ho

Et cetera. To create 20, 30, 40 and the like, we simply switch “o” at the beginning of oro for one of the other numbers.

20 = toro

30 = horo

40 = foro

Thusly. 44, as an example, would be foro fo; that is, four tens and four ones.

Once we pass noro no, or 99, we come to ororo, or one hundred. Numbers then proceed as one would expect, up to tororo, or 200. Five hundred ninety seven would be yororo noro vo. After nororo noro no, we come to this number: 1000. It is pronounced “orororo”. Rules for naming the next numerals up to ten thousand are consistent, such that “2013” is pronounced “torororo oro ho”. A change occurs at 10,000, for brevity’s sake: “o’obo”, “to’obo”, “ho’obo” would be “10,000”, “20,000” and “30,000” respectively.

That’s enough numbers for now. I will leave you to come up with “78, 946” on your own.

Parts of the body

go – hand

gog – finger

tlo – eye

odoko – head (also “top of ko” where “ko” = 8)

modoko – tail, bottom (“bottom of 8”)

cho – foot

chog – toe

Plurals are created by adding “w” to the end of a word; the w is only used to indicate plurals and is pronounced like the sound at the the beginning of “which”. So, gow – hands, gogw – eyes, etc.

ko – walk

koko – run

k’koko – run very fast (also “squirrel”)

hoh – mouth

hoh’hoh – talk

h’hoh’hohoko – language

gow’h’hoh’hohoko – the name of this language I’m making up. Essentially it means “language of the ones with hands”; i.e., people.


words and pictures © Christopher Ward. All rights reserved.

Posted: February 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

From my other blog about pictures and stuff and things.

Behold The Image!

British Deli_cious in beautiful downtown Dunedin, FL. Allison and Garrett create a welcoming atmosphere in this cozy little place, playing great music and providing a taste of the U.K. to ex-pats and ‘Muricans alike. Check it out if you’re in the area.

words and pictures © Christopher Ward. All rights reserved.

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The bus ride  seemed to stretch on for a cold, overly air conditioned eternity. It was crowded – everyone in Pinellas County seemed to be on this one bus. The seats are close together. This means that someone with long legs such as myself can find no comfortable way to sit in a bus seat. In short, it was your typical bus ride.

After I had seen a few more sunrises and sunsets, I finally arrived at my destination. A car ride here would have taken, maybe, 30 minutes tops. But, on the bus, it takes you sooo much longer. I hobbled off the bus and went into the office of the MRI device.

“We’ll need you to fill out this ream of paper work before we begin,” the nurse told me. “If your pen runs out of ink, just ask us for another one at the desk.” I am, now, officially tired of seeing my own name. I think I filled out less paperwork the last time I bought a car.

“Do you have claustrophobia, mister Ward? There’s not really much we can do about it if you do, we just I want to be able to say why when you start freaking out.” And with that I was loaded into a tube, with headphones placed on my ears and a plastic cage over my head. “What kind of music do you want to hear?” the technician asked me.

“Uh, reggae?”

Soon, Bob Marley begin singing about his 3 little birds in my ears. Only to be immediately drowned out by the sound of the world’s largest electric toothbrush committing unspeakable acts. This went on for the better part of half an hour. I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth, and thought of England. (Why are so many medical procedures reminiscent of the sort of things that you find in an S&M dungeon? Not saying it’s a bad thing; just wondering.)

It finally ended. “Shabba!” And just like that, I was extracted from the tube. I was dazed, I was confused, but I wasn’t happy about it.

“Your doctor will let you know about the results in a few days,” the tech said. I had noticed that he and the other techs were dancing in the little room that they check on the progress of the MRI. Glad someone could enjoy the music.

“Can I take a picture of that infernal machine?”

words and pictures © Christopher Ward. All rights reserved.

Posted: January 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

From my other blog. Took some pictures in Dunedin, FL.

Behold The Image!









Here are some pictures of Dunedin, Florida. Not to be confused with the one in New Zealand,  or the one in Scotland. taken with the L G motion phone slash camera, this time I used paper pictures to augment some of the shots of downtown on a Friday morning.

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Here is something from my photography blog. I took some pitchers.


The Snell Arcade..

Posted: December 22, 2012 in Uncategorized

I don’t use this re-blog feature a lot. Thus, if I’m gonna use it, makes sense to use it with a post that’s as meaningful as this. Thanks for writing this one.

hannah brencher.

At 3:07pm on a Monday afternoon, while sighing restlessly alongside other anxious Target customers, I quit Christmas.

I realized I had ruined Christmas. Straight messed it up. Mangled it. Done it a disservice. Boxed it, botched it, in a way I never thought possible. And so there, with my hands full of snowman-decrepit cards that prove to be the only thing left when you shop the week before and a slew of sweaters I never actually needed, I placed my basket on the floor and I walked out of the store. I quit Christmas on the spot.

This is the point in the post where I apologize profusely to Target store employees for being "that" girl and overdramatizing my quitting of Christmas to the point of leaving stale merchandise in the middle of the floor for y'all to pick up. I am sorry. Very sorry. It was necessary for the…

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